She’s testing your tone, not your words

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Last night, my one-year-old woke up screaming like I’d vanished forever.

I picked him up instantly calm.

But the second I tried to lay him back down?

Full-on panic.

Why?

Because I moved too fast.

He wasn’t freaking out because I left. He was freaking out because he didn’t trust the transition.

Same reason your wife shuts down when you try to “fix” the marriage.

What I coach men to do instead:

1. Slow it down → You stop looking like a guy trying to fix a problem → You start looking like a man who actually gets it

2. Stay consistent → You stop giving mixed signals she doesn’t trust → You start becoming the man she respects again

3. Stop trying to prove yourself → You stop sounding like a desperate apology machine → You start showing up like the guy she can lean on

This is how you lead when things are tense, not by talking more, but by moving differently.

Why it works:

Because women don’t trust fixes. They trust follow-through.

And right now, she doesn’t believe you’ll stay the course. She thinks this is another quick push before you go back to normal.

That’s why what you say isn’t landing.

You don’t need louder words. You need a better way to move.

If you’re done trying to prove your point and ready to actually get through

Reply “STILL.” I’ll send you the details.

–Klaudia