The blame game

I used to get angry every time he pulled one of his "moves."

He'd go quiet. Act overly calm. Drop some line he probably read in a book.

And then he'd look at me like: "Well? Did you notice how good I’m being?"

I wanted to scream.

Not because I didn’t care. But because I didn’t trust it.

Because deep down, I knew the truth: It wasn’t about me. It was about him trying to feel better. Trying to erase the rejection. Trying to get credit for showing up now, as if it erased the weight of what came before.

He probably did not think that but it was what I believed.

And when I didn’t react the way he wanted?

He got frustrated. Sulky. Defensive.

"Why are you still distant?"

"How can you not see I’m trying?"

"What more do you want from me?"

I didn’t have the words for it at the time. But I knew what I felt:

Managed. Not loved.

Then something shifted.

He stopped trying to earn points. He started asking better questions.

“What if I’m trying to earn her back instead of rebuild trust?”

“What am I missing in how she’s actually experiencing me?”

“What if my effort feels more like pressure than presence?”

That’s when I noticed. Not just his behavior, but the absence of pressure.

He wasn’t trying to impress me anymore. He was actually seeing me.

That’s when I exhaled. That’s when I started coming closer.

This Friday, I’m running a live workshop called Do the Right Thing at the Wrong Time.

It’s for men doing all the "right things" and still getting nowhere.

You’ll learn:

• Why your effort backfires and how to put stop to it

• The shift that finally gets her to lower the wall

• How to stop guessing and start doing what actually lands

So she stops reading your silence as strategy. And starts trusting the man behind the words.

Doors close Friday 20th June 4pm CET sharp.

Reserve your seat here

Hope to see you inside,

Klaudia

P.S. can’t make it live? If you buy the workshop, you’ll get the recording and resources for life.