Playing Louder Won’t Fix a Broken Tune

A client once told me something that hit like a brick.

“I found my old guitar in the attic.

The strings were loose, the wood was dusty, and when I tried to play, it sounded awful.

So I strummed harder. But the louder I played, the worse it got.

That’s when it hit me… The guitar wasn’t broken. It just needed tuning.”

Then he said:

“That’s exactly what my marriage felt like.”

He kept trying harder:
- Bigger gestures, hoping she’d notice.
- Long explanations, hoping she’d understand.
- Constant apologies, hoping she’d forgive.

Nothing changed.
She still looked past him at dinner.
Her goodnight hug stayed cold, quick, distant.
Her texts were just “ok” and “fine” instead of anything real.

The harder he tried, the worse it got.

Then, he realized. It wasn’t about effort. It was about alignment.

When he tuned in instead of just trying harder:
- She lingered in the hug instead of pulling away.
- Her voice softened when she said “good morning.”
- Her eyes met his again instead of staring at her phone.

The Difference Was Clear:

When he kept pushing:
-She nodded through his words but didn’t really hear him.
- She gave him half-smiles that never reached her eyes.
- Every “I love you” he said felt more like a question than a statement.

When he tuned in:
— She looked up when he walked into the room.
— She laughed—actually laughed—at a joke instead of forcing a grin.
— She started texting him first, just to share something from her day.

“It wasn’t about doing more,” he said.
“It was about tuning in to what actually mattered to her.”

Your marriage isn’t fixed by playing louder.

It’s fixed by playing the right notes.

Grab my free Reignite Her Feelings guide and I’ll show you where to start.

"Before our call, I felt like everything I said pushed her further away. After just one conversation with Klaudia, I knew exactly what to do that night; and for the first time in months, she actually leaned into me instead of pulling back."

"But what if I change and she doesn’t?"

Good question. Ever tuned your car by screaming at the engine?

Exactly.

Fix the alignment first, then see how smooth the ride gets.

Until next time,

Klaudia

P.S. If you want the same results learn more about my coaching, read all the reviews, and view my calendar here.

P.P.S Is her loyalty gone or just hiding? Why loyalty isn’t a two-way street

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